I know who I am, I don’t have to prove it to anyone

Natalia is 16 years old. She attends the first year of high school that specializes in police crisis situations. She lives in a small village. Because of the pandemic, she now lives at home, but normally she would have lived in a boarding school 80 kilometers from home where her high school is. 

She likes working in a group. If she is interested in a topic and feels like she has enough knowledge about it, she loves being an initiator of creating a group. When creating a group, Natalia focuses on what she knows about other people and how willing they are to work together. It only makes sense to work that way. She doesn’t like when group work becomes the work of only one or two people most involved. 

“I like to work in a group when I am interested in a given topic, if it is difficult, I do not want it, like everyone else”


Natalia likes reaching for help from others in situations when she can’t tackle something – for example – has problems with a subject at school. If somebody helps her, it brings her joy. However, she hates when another person is trying to help her when she does not ask for it. That frustrates her. She likes asking for help when she knows the person/people. Knowing her, they know how to help her. When she asks for help, she feels stressed, because she feels like maybe the thing she is struggling with is easy and she should already have the knowledge on it. Once she gathers information and understands something she had trouble with, stress goes away.

“If I can’t cope and someone helps me, I enjoy it. When someone tries to help me by force, I just get nervous about it”


She has a few people that are her role models. Each one is related to a different aspect of life because like she says “no one is perfect”. One of those people is her boyfriend’s mother. She views her as a person who is always hard-working but balances that to be present for everyone. Her boyfriend’s mother gives her 100 per cent to everyone around her. Natalia admires that. Other than that, the girl loves people who don’t care what others think of them and are willing to go to all sorts of different extends to achieve what they truly want. She sees that in Michal Szpak (polish singer). She admires his ignorance of hate directed at him. Natalia has a lot of sentiment towards her role models and feels like they are close to her. 

“I really like the approach to life that if someone says something about you, I live my own way anyway”


She describes aspects of her life that are going well and the ones that aren’t. She says she didn’t clean her room the day of the interview – she was just lazy. Natalia has also been painting quite a bit recently which is working very well for her. She feels good at it. 

When she makes a mistake, she likes to see it as an artistic disorder that was supposed to be just exactly like that. She has a lot of acceptance for herself. On top of that, she also has acceptance and distance for things that are directed at her by others. She doesn’t really care about what people think of her unless these people are close to her – then she cares a bit more about what they have to say. Natalia mentions she doesn’t like the idea of being alone – that would make her go crazy.

“When I make mistakes, I explain that it is an artistic disorder, and it should be like that”


Asked about how she feels when she is good at something, she talks about how other people don’t believe her, but she doesn’t feel the need to prove them otherwise. She is content with knowing herself and what she is capable of.

Her strengths include being a person that looks different and acts different than she really is when you get to know her. On a daily basis she dresses in a “cute” way but trains martial arts and goes to a police school. When it comes to using that to her advantage, she mentions not liking manipulation in relationships and trying to avoid it at all costs. However, she knows some things can work in her favor – for example – coming off as “cute” at school can get her further than being rebellious. She believes sometimes you have to subordinate yourself to achieve some goals in life. Natalia mentions often hearing that girls can or cannot do something in our world.

“People don’t believe me that I can do something, but I know, I know what I am, I don’t have to prove it to them”


Asked about what she feels like when thinking about changing our world, people’s views on patriarchy etc., she says it brings her back to choosing her high school. She was very stubborn in her choice, went to that school thinking she can change the world like a child but ended up with her idea crushed in the first week of high school. Now, she thinks our world is already too organized and too unaccepting of rebellion that she can’t see our world changing. 

“You often have to follow the rules, I often hear something about what girls can and cannot”


Natalia likes solving problems when they matter to her. If it is something “small” she doesn’t feel the need to tackle that.

When it comes to ways and problem-solving ideas that work for her, she mentions roller-skating and talking to other people, letting it out. That way the problem solves itself for her. The way she filters problems that matter for her is understanding whether or not it moves her. When tackling smaller problems, the girl chooses to redirect her own focus. When talking with others about a problem, she makes sure to bring up argumentation, see logic or the lack of it.

Natalia is really good at differentiating facts from opinions. She believes some people discuss their theories and she can simply see it can often lack logical explanation. She says these theories could just be kept to oneself.

Breaking things down into smaller pieces comes easily to her. She finds it useful in situations where she wants to get to the source of the matter. However, in situations where it needs a specific response, sometimes it is not worth breaking anything down into smaller particles. Then we get a simple answer.

“I break down the matter into questions, opinions and theories – I know that something is not a fact, you can keep it for yourself”


Her well-being in situations where she is not right depends on the arguments. She says that it is often easier to prove stupidity than to prove a good thing. Sometimes she is faced with many arguments that confuse her. According to Natalia, you have to filter a lot and if the argument really makes sense, then we know that she can change her mind.

Responsibility for her is the moment when a person trusts another person. When someone is responsible, they can take care of others, but also themselves. A responsible person can use common sense.

Natalia feels responsible for the children she trains and sometimes for her boyfriend. She claims that he is younger than her and still has a moment of madness.

In matters of life decisions, she believes that if something concerns only her, she has the greatest voice, she decides what will happen. There are some moments of hesitation when she hears opinions of others about her decisions, but eventually realizes that it all depends on herself.

Natalia has an influence on the course of events in her life, if they concern her. It has an impact on school, her interests, hobbies and her life. She chooses her own path.

“When something concerns me, my school, my interests – only I have an impact on my life, I choose my own path”


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *